Drama

Medical professionals have been wearing me out for years. Somehow I ended up with a career dealing with them - I have zero background, zero experience, and quite frankly zero interest in most things medical. I think most of my irritation stems from the words they use. I know they have to use their fancy medical terms for their charting and such, but when talking to patients, I wish they would dumb it down a little. Why say edema when the world actually knows what swelling means ...

Yesterday we had a doctor's appointment. I cannot say with any certainty how pregnant I am, because it seems to change depending on which doctor you talk to on which day. Let's just go with VERY. At my VERY pregnant appointment, my blood pressure was higher than normal  (110/86) and I was swollen like a stuffed sausage. Apparently these two things in conjunction with my AMA and high levels of protein in my urine throw red flags all over the place.

The official term seems to be Preeclampsia. For heaven's sake don't google it. Per http://www.preclamsia.org/, "Thousands of women and babies die or get very sick each year from a dangerous condition called preeclampsia". That is the first sentence on their website. Nothing like the Internet to set your mind at ease.

Dr. Davis is concerned about the blood pressure (I guess the closer the bottom number gets to 90 the more concerned she is going to be) and the swelling. I am dilated to a 1 and 90% effaced. She advised that we bring our bags to the next appointment. That concerned me.

Maternity pants are funny things with that stretchy waistband and lack of back pockets to create the illusion that your huge ass isn't as huge (did I mention I gained 6 pounds this week?!?). Upon hearing the news of needing to bring our bags next week, I freaked out so thoroughly that I put said pants on backwards and proceeded to walk out of the exam room.

A baby next week? What is their official medical term for 'there is no way in hell I am ready for this'?!!?