Sooners

For some reason I find myself continuously comparing us to people in covered wagons. Whenever Trent won't let me do something because I am pregnant, I reference back to the women in covered wagons and what their husbands let (made!) them do. I can't ride the four wheeler? Those women rode in rickety wagons over the mountains! I can't carry the feed buckets? Those women built houses out of sod! He has shot all the obvious holes in this argument, yet I still find myself referencing it constantly.

The dishwasher stopped working. To be fair it still runs, but since it no longer cleans the dishes I consider that not working. I declared that we must purchase a new one pronto. Trent reminded me that that we have many purchases to make with Fig on the way, and perhaps a new dishwasher could wait.

Me: Fig is just going to have to do without some things. Do you think those kids in the covered wagons had fancy swings with lights and sounds?
Trent: No, but their covered wagons were not equipped with dishwashers, either.

I hate it when he does that.

It's what's for dinner

I was in Texas for three days this week. While I was gone, Trent loaded up Izzy's baby calf Harry (I name them all Harry - because they are all Hairy) and sold him. While this was unacceptable behavior, cattle prices are very high and the little guy brought $1.47 a pound. That is ridiculously high for a calf, and most especially for a half beltie (last year her calf brought $0.87), so I forgive him this time. When you are paying extra for hamburger the next time you are at the supermarket, know that we will be putting the extra money to good use!

Auntie!!!

Kayleen had a baby girl yesterday afternoon, she is so perfect and precious that I just look at the pictures over and over and can't believe she is real. Now they have to move back to Oklahoma so Fig and Lola Jo can be besties!

In a couple of days I will ask Kayleen for more details between 10 pm when her water broke in bed to 2 pm the next afternoon when she was taken in for an unplanned C-section. These details are very important to me and she was pretty hopped up on Morphine when I spoke with her last night. She described the experience as "a real trip". I love that girl.

Congratulations Kayleen and Ryan!

Back to School

Having never given birth, I waiver between wanting to know as much as possible to prepare for the event and wanting to be in the dark about the details as long as possible. I mean, the baby has to come out, right? Whether I am educated or not, it is going to happen so why cause myself the stress and nervousness that accompanies knowing exactly what is going to go down – down there. Ignorance is bliss.

My OB/GYN recommended a series of education classes offered by the hospital to better prepare us for all things baby. These classes cover everything from what to pack in the bag to take to the hospital to how to put a onsie on a newborn. After grilling the teacher to ensure she would not be showing birthing videos, I signed us up for the classes.

The classes are 3 hours long, once a week, for two months. Seriously? I had graduate courses that were not that long. And the classes start the beginning of April and run through the end of May. And they start at 6:30 pm. And the hospital is 45 minutes away. Granted no one asked me, but if I were in charge of a class geared at 8-9 month pregnant women, I might have the class get over before 9:30 pm. I go to bed at 8:15 some nights and I am only in my 6^th month.

This should be fun. Not.

Overheard

Me: "I just left the doctor, I have gained 20 pounds"
Trent: "That is not possible"

And why he didn't stop there is a question we will continue to ask ...

Trent: "They said at your last appointment you only only gained 4. You gained more than that in each boob"

Modern Art

Mom got us fancy open stock knives for Christmas and I just got around to a method of organizing said knives so they were not just thrown in a drawer.

Uffda

In my mind, things are much easier than they are in real life. You'd think 37 years of life experience would have taught me to expect the worst, and be pleasantly surprised when things work out. Big hair and low expectations is my motto, after all ...

The plan in our minds was to send Fig to the same day care that our nephews went to. That plan came to a crashing halt today when Trent discussed this plan with the lady who runs it and she broke the news to him that regrettably, there was no room at the Inn.

Since then I have called 23 daycare centers in the greater Blanchard area and every place I have called has made me feel foolish for one of two reasons.

Half have mocked me for calling so early - how could they possibly know what their centers would be like in August when we plan on sending him?!? That is 6 months away, and things at a daycare change by the day. Condescending bitches. One actually suggested I call her back the week before I wanted to bring him. I asked her what she thought my plan should be if they couldn't take him, and she acted like this was the first time it ever occurred to her how ridiculous her request was. Openings or not, Fig cannot be surrounded by that kind of stupidity.

The other have mocked me for not calling earlier - how could they possibly not have the capacities at their centers planned through August when we plan on sending him?!? August is 6 months away, and things at a daycare have to be planned - it is a business after all. Self-important bitches. One told me the waiting list was a year and a half long. I asked how I was supposed to put my baby on a waiting list one year before he was conceived. She asked if I wanted to add him to the list now, I told her that in a year and a half he ought to have a job and be paying his own way. She hung up on me. Cross that one off the list.

Now pretend with me for a moment that I was able to find somewhere to take him. No one ever told me (at least not when I was child-free and listening) that we were going to have to take out a second mortgage to afford it. Here I thought money was in software and consulting (both of which I do) but apparently the real dough is in caring for other peoples kids. There is no way I would watch someone else's kid for $1000 a week, much less $150 - but come on. These people are supposed to like kids.

Of the 23 places I called, there are 4 that are possible options. One is ridiculously overpriced and in a former funeral home. One tried to sue my sister-in-law, so Fig would have to use an alias. It is never easy.

Trent suggested a live-in Swedish nanny. Yeah, I cannot think of any reason THAT wouldn't work.

Holy tiny

And it's a really small mouse!

I need a what?!

I believe I have made my lack of knowledge of all things baby abundantly clear. I will have to delete this blog before Fig is old enough to read or he will think (know!) his parents were total morons about what life with him would be like. He will realize on his own soon enough that his parents are total morons for many, many other reasons. 

Registering is all very overwhelming. Strollers, car seats, slings, carriers, bottles, nipples, blankets, bears, lotions, and … rectal thermometers? Then there are the things that I don’t even know what they are. What the hell is a Bumbo? Why would I possibly need a Boppy? Will a Diaper Jeanie change the diapers for me? Is a Link-a-doo really a must-have?

With my AMA, I have been giving baby presents at showers for years. My gift of choice has been a sweet little Christmas tree with darling tiny baby themed ornaments. Those pregnant women had to be wondering what planet I was from … a Christmas tree when what they really needed was a Link-a-doo?!?

My plan this weekend is to walk up and down the aisles of Target with that cool scan gun and register for one of everything. I will then ask a few dear friends who have recently had babies to view the registry online and remove the silly stuff that we don’t need.

I am thinking (hoping) in about 6-12 months I will look back at this blog and this specific post and giggle about how stupid I was about all things baby. Hopefully I won’t have a Bumbo on my head while I am doing it.

Busy Tuesday Evening

We checked in on Cupid, the Valentine's Day Calf. He is doing well, pretty tiny buy awful cute with those 4 white socks and knobby knees. The weather is beautiful, so he is enjoying his first days of life.

Konner made his first solo ride training-wheel-free thanks to a little help from Papa. He did offer to put the training wheels in a safe spot so Fig could use them someday.

And Cooper turned 9, which we celebrated with pizza and a baseball birthday cookie, which I ate most of ...



Romance

I don't believe in Valentine's Day. I think you should love the people you love and show them that all year, not just on a holiday where cards, chocolate, and flowers sell for 5 times their normal price. It has taken Trent quite a few years to realize I am serious about this - that it isn't just a trick so I can get mad when he doesn't get me anything.

We had a wonderful Valentines evening last night chocolate and flower free. The first calf of the year was born meaning Spring is surely right around the corner and nothing makes me happier than the thought of warmer days ahead. We ended the night with dinner at the gas station in Dibble, and it was the best burger ever.

Our life isn't for everyone, but it is perfect for me and my Valentine. I love you Trent!

Pregnancy Brain

Friday is garbage day here at the Ridge, and because of the back-to-back blizzards the garbage truck hasn’t been here in two weeks. The snow was melting and the roads were clear, so Thursday night I gathered up the trash and wheeled the can to the curb. Because snow was piled up on either side of the driveway, the can ended up being directly behind where Trent parks. I paused for a moment thinking that this could cause an issue, but went on my merry way instead of moving it.

I was hungry (shocker!) so I went inside and called Trent and offered to go get us Subway. Who can pass up the $5 foot long special they have going on?! He was all for it, so not 5 minutes later I got in my vehicle to head to town.

I backed out of the driveway and wouldn’t you know it … WHAM! I nailed the garbage can. Did I mention it was not 5 minutes since I put it there? I hit it so hard that I knocked it over and two weeks of garbage spilled out onto the street. I picked up the trash and the 1000 pieces of my broken rear break light cover. Trent says they don’t just replace that piece, that I need a whole new casing. He guesstimates about $250 without installation.

That was one expensive $5 sub. And the garbage man still hasn't come.

Light Reading

We have acquired quite a few books on pregnancy - there certainly isn't a lack on information out there should you want it. Here are a couple and what I think of each:

What to Expect when you are Expecting: A good source of information, but for gods sake don't read ahead or you'll go into panic mode. There are good explanations of what is happening to your pregnant body and baby and even more examples of things you are thankful are not happening. Yikes.

What to Eat when you are Expecting: I skimmed this one. Frozen pizza and ice cream are not high on their list of recommendations. I leaf through it occasionally to see if I am allowed to indulge at the All You Can Eat Seafood Buffet (sadly, not) but otherwise I am just not that into healthy food. Shocking, I know. Sorry Fig if you come out looking like Canadian Bacon.

The Expectant Father: Obviously this one is Trent's, and I don't think he has read it cover-to-cover. I tear out pages, highlight the passages that say things like "Week 22: Give her a foot massage". So far it hasn't worked. Seriously this one is pretty interesting - talks about stuff that must be important to men that I hadn't even thought about. Money is going to be tight? Who the heck has time to think about money when you no longer own jeans that will button? Damn right money will be tight, but let's not neglect pregnancy fashion.

Belly Laughs (by Jenny McCarthy): I just got this one for my birthday, and I couldn't put it down. Sure it talks about hemorrhoids and nipple cream but in a much more amusing manner than What to Expect does. About month 5 I think we could all use a laugh. This will be on my list of things to give to girlfriends when they are expecting.

Overheard

Laurie: "Guess what?"
Trent: "You're hungry?"
Laurie: "Starving"
Trent: "What have you eaten?"
Laurie: "2 burritos, a cupcake, a whole green pepper, and a bowl of ice cream"
Trent: "You eat like a billy goat"

Some Assembley Required

Right in time for the second snow storm in two weeks, the crib and changing table mom bought Fig arrived (Thanks mom!). The two boxes weighed in at a combined 137 pounds, and the Fed Ex lady thought putting them together would be an excellent project for the blizzard that was heading our way. Clearly the Fed Ex lady has never met Trent or I, if we started on it now we would probably not have it done before June when he gets here.

We have a three bedroom house, with the three bedrooms currently being used as our room, a guest room, and my office. After much debate, we opted to move my office into the guest room and turn the office into the nursery. I was all for turning the dining room into the office since we never eat there anyway, but since we rarely have guests either combining the two just made more sense.

I am not a patient person, and waiting to prepare the space for Fig has been hard on me. About a month ago I cleaned closets and made enough room in the office closet that the baby stuff we have been accumulating could go somewhere other than the kitchen. We still have plenty we need, but that closet is getting pretty full.

Mom is planning a trip down in the Spring before Fig arrives and I am so looking forward to her help. She has more Cat in the Hat decals to apply, curtains to hang, a dresser to fill with itsy bitsy little clothes ... and apparently a crib and changing table to assemble.

Spoiled Much?

Wonder what will happen when Grandma Jill has a new baby to spoil?

Thanks Mama for a great birthday!!



Coincidence?

Three Letter Acronyms (TLA) I find especially ironic on this, the day after my 37th birthday:

AMA = Advanced Maternal Age
AMA= Against Medical Advice

I believe at some point they become interchangable!

Housekeeping

Have you ever told what you thought was a funny, interesting, or enlightening story only to hear nothing but silence on the other side? That is a lot what writing a blog (this blog anyway) is like. Whenever I write something and hit the Publish Post button, I wonder if anyone is reading it and if anyone finds it mildly amusing. There is really no way to know, and I am just insecure enough in my writing to believe that those few who may actually read it get to the end of a post and think they just wasted 4 minutes of their lives.

Over the weekend I spoke with a couple people (my supportive Aunts!) who said they enjoyed the blog and read it everyday. YAY! They then asked me what I thought of their comments ... I have only ever seen one comment on a blog post, and it was by Kami on the first one published.

Being on this side of the blog, I had to had a gmail account to set up the page. I understand that the blog is geared toward google email users, and if you don't have a gmail account, some of the options for the blog are disabled. I offered to do some testing and this is what I found:

1) Being my friend on the blog or a follower on the blog doesn't really accomplish much unless you are a blogger yourself and have a blog page. If you don't plan to start a blog, don't bother trying to do either of these things as it seems to be a waste of time and energy, and who needs another email address to keep track of anyway? I set up mom to get an email to her hotmail account every time I publish something. I can do that for you if you email me your address. lauriedenny@hotmail.com
2) You can still comment on a blog post if don't have a gmail account, they just make it a little harder to figure out.

At the end of each blog post, there is a Comment section which up to now has mostly read 0 Comments. If you want to post a comment, click on that 0 Comments and a window will open. Below I made a comment on my own blog without being signed into my gmail. My comment said This is a test. This is how I did it:

1) Click on 0 Comments text to open the Post a Comment box
2) In the Post a Comment box enter the comment you want to make
3) In the Comment As drop down, select Name/URL
4) In the Edit Profile box, enter your name but leave the URL: field blank and click Continue
5) Click Post Comment button
6) A captcha will appear under Word Verification to make sure you aren't a computer, enter the letters you see and click Post Comment.

Your comment should appear along with the date and time you made the comment. There may be other, easier ways but I have yet to discover them.

Carla and Lyla, you are out of excuses. Let the commenting begin!

Cabin Fever

We are on our 4th day of the Blizzard of 2011 and I am beyond bored with the whole thing.

Tuesday brought the excitement of snow, Wednesday was the drama of Trent trying to dig out, Thursday ushered in temperatures lower than have been seen here in 20+ years, and today it snowed 3 inches more. I know as you get older the memories of your youth fade, but I cannot ever recall being stuck at home for 4 days because of snow and I AM FROM NORTH DAKOTA.

This morning I had a major meltdown over a maple long john craving that can only be attributed to pregnancy hormones. I had to get out of this house. Right this minute. Between the snow and my uber over protective husband, there was no way I was busting out - I might fall and slip on the ice, I might get stuck in a 10 inch snowdrift, I might head south to Mexico and never come back.

Trent left to feed and I planned my escape. I didn't exactly know where I was going, but I was going there. I bundled up in my Uggs, winter parka, ski gloves and hat. The driveway was clear where he parks, but since my vehicle was in the garage on the other side, I had to maneuver a 2 foot drift to make it out to the street. I bet I was going 30 mph in reverse out of the garage, I was NOT getting stuck in that sucker. I plowed through, snow flying up over the hood of the Trailblazer, and I made it to the end of the driveway. I was finally free!

Our house sits on the top of the hill, and from the end of the drive I could see the whole development. Between me and the pond (200 yards) there were 3 vehicles stuck on the road. Two couldn't make it because the hill was too icy, one was stuck in the snow. I hung my head in defeat and inched the Trailblazer back into the garage.

At least I got out of the house.

Snow Day

Our 4-legged children (except Grunt) seem to enjoy the winter weather more than anyone else in this house!

Callie and Dakota

Seussisms

I struggled with how to decorate the nursery. Western was too cliché, sports was too overdone, and pastel colors just make me nauseous. I always enjoyed the fun, silly side of Dr. Seuss and the bright colors that are associated with One Fish, Two Fish and the Cat in the Hat so I decided to go forward with that.

There are a lot of Dr. Seuss things available on the internet, but hardly any at stores you can check out before you buy. There was a scouting mission to a Babies-R-Us in Texas that nearly gave me a panic attack (do I really need all that stuff in that store?!!? Apparently I do!) so I decided to just order online.

I found a cute crib set that features the Cat in the Hat on a background of mostly red, black, and white. It arrived last week and it was worth the ridiculous price I paid for it. It is just the cutest thing ever.  I got the bumper, crib sheet, crib skirt, and quilt. I also ordered the valance for the one window in the nursery.

I planned on pulling the red out and making that the primary color of the room, but it is incredibly hard to find red things for a nursery. I swear I read somewhere once that babies don’t see all the colors we do at first, and quite frankly I don’t blame them if all they have to look at is baby blue, pale yellow and mint green. Seems like primary colors should be all over the place for baby décor. Clearly I should be in charge.

For the walls I have found lots of cute posters and prints in Dr. Seuss characters, but Wow! are they expensive. We have very textured walls so I was afraid I could not do the wall cling things, but I ordered a quote off Amazon and so far it is staying in place.

So after the crib bedding arrived and the non removable Seuss quote was in place, Trent informed me that he is scared of most things Seuss. He said the Cat in his Hat looks like he is on acid, and that the Grinch gives him nightmares … Nice of you to share that with me now, Trent.

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
                                                                                                                              — Dr. Seuss